Date Night: An Overlooked Relationship Essential

April 6, 2023

One of the areas that is often overlooked in relationships is date night. It is often difficult for people to prioritize date nights, as our schedules are busy enough. However, date nights should not be optional relationships, but rather, necessary

Let’s dig into why date nights are so important and necessary for a relationship. Whether you are in a new relationship, or a long-term relationship, date nights add so much value to the relationship. Here are some reasons why:

Spending quality time together fosters connection:

Quality time is key here, as it means limited distractions such as no kids, phones, work calls, e-mails etc. Give your partner your undivided attention, stay engaged in the conversation and time together. 

It opens up communication:

Date nights are a great opportunity for checking in with your partner regarding the relationship, and to share what you may need from your partner to work on in the relationship. It’s important to set boundaries around communication, which means setting limits on how much you talk about day-to-day things such as work and kids. If you’re stuck about what to talk about with your partner, I would recommend reading “Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love” by John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman. It is a book that can help create conversation-based dates that can help grow the relationship with your partner.

Creates opportunity for positive interactions:

Date nights can be a wonderful way to reset, especially with the stress of work and home life. Sometimes it’s a nice reminder as to how much fun you have with your partner, and how nice it feels to feel connected to them. 

Fosters intimacy:

All of these benefits above help grow emotional and physical intimacy. Intimacy can be built through opportunities of hand holding, laughing cuddling, kissing, as well as telling your partner how you feel about them, and what you love about them. 

I thought it would probably be helpful to provide some fun ideas to start incorporating some fun date nights ahead. Here are some ideas...

  1. Get outside. Go on a trail walk, walk on the beach, have a picnic, grab some take out and sit at a park. This is a simple, but easy way to get some fresh air, and connect with your partner.
  2. Play a board game. I love board games and feel they are a great way to be engaged in an activity with a little friendly competition, but also laugh and have quality time.
  3. Take a class. A lot of the couples I work with take cooking classes, dance classes, and art classes as something that can put both partners out of their comfort zones, but also bring partners together. It’s a unique and shared experience that couples can enjoy together.
  4. Get tickets to an improv/comedy show, play, sports event, or concert. This is always a great way to spend time with your partner and make memories in a fun setting. It is a great way to also be in the moment with your partner with limited distractions, as well as create new memories that will last a lifetime.

Remember, date nights do not have to be extravagant or require a lot of planning to create long lasting memories with your partner! The most important thing is to limit distractions that would get in the way of focusing on your partner. And lastly, have fun!

Happy Date Nights!

Allison Wong

Allison is a Registered Clinical Counsellor with a Master's in Counselling Psychology from City University of Seattle. She has several years of experience with working with children, youth, families, individuals, and couples, with a deep understanding of internal family systems.

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